Actress makes awareness video about catcalling
http://www.msnbc.com/politicsnation/watch/compliments-or-harassment--video-goes-viral-349665859773
There's lots of other versions on-line, just amazing that people still demeaning other people this way.
mistergoogle Saw this on Fox 5 yesterday. One caption while she is walking mentions she has something written on her butt. Maybe that's why some of the cat calls were demeaning. Still wrong though.
botheredbyuu2 Number one she is an actress. Number two she was street walking for 10 hours. Her cameraman in front of her had the camera in his book bag. I didn't hear any catcalls, no whistles. Very disappointing. If you look real hard the men speaking were a bunch of dregs. She herself was no prize. She fit right in where she was. What was her point?
auntiel 
Calico696 What was her point? I don't know, maybe that no one deserves to be made to feel uncomfortable walking down the street minding their own business?
Only "hot" women should be harassed on the street, is that what you're saying? Because she's an actress, this is somehow not valid?
These kinds of disgusting attitudes are exactly why we need awareness videos like this.
cheshirecat So if she was better looking it would be OK to demean her? Wow you're pretty sad humans or maybe you aren't good looking and wish men would whistle at you?
RedwingYes, I agree. She is nothing to look at. I heard catcalls. They also said the camera was out of sight. Really? How is that possible?
I don't see how anything said to her was demeaning. They weren't insults. I'm sure if the guys were hot it would be a totally different story.
That was directed at lollipopz, not you honey badger.
It doesn't matter if someone is hot. It's harassment. Period.
I think that was the point...she portrayed herself as an average woman, minding her own business, walking down the street...and all these men felt entitled to comment on, call-out to, and follow this woman.
A few were downright creepy "Am I too ugly for you?" and the one guy walking by her side for over 5 minutes!
She stayed silent the whole time - yet these jerks continued to provoke her. Including the idiot saying "you should say thank you!"
I dare any woman to walk down main street hackettstown and hear their reaction if even one person looks at them the wrong way.
honey badger "One caption while she is walking mentions she has something written on her butt."
I'm curious about this and whether or not it had any impact on the reactions. What did it read? Was it something provocative? If so, then the whole thing is somewhat disingenuous. I mean, if you're walking down the street with "DTF" written on your ass, then I think you can expect to get some propositions that would otherwise be way out of line.
ianimal The camera was in a backpack on a guy walking in front of her.
As a father to a young woman, I would like to think that she could walk down a street without being catcalled.
I'll say this...if you were walking down a street with your daughter, wife, or girlfriend, would you be OK with the same guys saying the same stuff to her?
emaxxman No I am not okay with it. Yes it does happen in Hackettstown. They don't say stuff to the women, but they do whistle and make little clicking noises to each other, I have heard it quite a few times.
Reggie Voter It was a brand name of clothing ianimal. Can't remember the name. ANYTHING written on a "healthy" butt is going to get noticed and commented on. Hate the shorts and sweat pants teens wear with "juicy" and other stuff written on it. Just asking for trouble. Still wrong
Actually it could make a difference if the person doing the so-called catcalling is attractive to the catcall-ee. I don't think you speak for all women chesire. Are you that insecure with yourself that someone noticing your attractiveness would send you into a panic attack?
ex, I'm sure if you were walking down the street with any female by your side, not one, NOT ONE male would catcall. He may think it, but no way is he going to open his mouth. He doesn't want to get his ass kicked. I am sure beyond a reasonable doubt that IS exactly what you would do. What man wouldn't?? Give your gender a little credit. This behavior has been around since the beginning of time. Is this acceptable behavior. No. This is nothing new. She is a young women who did not know that before her time catcalling existed. Hell, her mother probably isn't old enough to remember that in the 60's when feminism started this was brought up then. Her point is moot as far as I am concerned. But, because of her age she thinks she is discovering something new. Grownups don't feed into it.
"ANYTHING written on a "healthy" butt is going to get noticed and commented on."
And the only reason you would wear something with writing on the butt would be to intentionally draw attention to it. But from the front, she makes it look like she's dressed very conservatively and is in no way is drawing any attention to herself...
I'll be interested to see the follow up video that gets made 30 years from now. Will our modern, educated young woman feel vindicated, assuming the comments have stopped? Or will she lament the lost days of youth? Yes, extreme feminist or not, the day does come when you realize the truck driver is honking at you because you cut him off, not because he appreciates the dewy beauty of a twenty-something young lady :)
In any case, men should consider that they are frightening these young ladies, not making their day.
maja So, when is it ok to tell woman she's gorgeous? Ever? Has admiring the beauty of a woman (or a man) ALL turned into harassment? Do you have to be dating or married to someone before it's ok?
This whole subject is ridiculous, in light of the serious issues we have going on....
JeffersonRepub Just proves that "fear" doesn't equate to harm.
In other words, despite all of the catcalling, for whatever reason... nothing happened.
Mark Mc. I never assumed an actress with a companion/camera was frightened. I was thinking of people like students walking home from school or a young waitress walking home after a dinner shift.
I would be darned worried about the two guys who actually followed her, one for five minutes, one for about two.
While I think there is a time and a place for platitudes, voicing them to a stranger on the street from 5 to 20 feet away seems not only rude and crude but harassing as well.
But it's the city; does it happen in H-town?
"How are you this morning?"
Dear GOD! The absolute sheer TERROR that woman must've felt.
The whole video of every "cat call" was 2-3 minutes. That's 0.5% of the time she was walking around. If that is the new definition of constant, then I am constantly doing the following every day:
1.) pooping - 10 minutes or 0.6% of a 24 hour day
2.) driving (to work) - 1.0%
3.) eating - 5%
4.) typing on my phone - 4.2%
5.) masturbating - 1.0% (weekly average)
And I suppose that walking around Harlem (in a baby-tee and skinny jeans no less) is an entirely accurate cross-section of our society, right? Because Harlem is such a melting pot of different cultures and races, right?
Common Sense I'm on the side of those who say it is totally annoying. Grow up, lewd men. As to whether this happens in Htown - any female who has walked down Main St. alone knows the answer to this question.
Rebecka I agree Rebecka it would be annoying and I think it is a bit immature for men to do this.
As far as it happening here in Htown, Well I guess I must not be their type lol!! I have walked down the streets plenty of times alone and have never heard a sound... Uh oh... maybe now I SHOULD be concerned lol!
JRT I'm with you JR, we have bigger problems that, as adults we should be dealing with. Are adults a thing of the past?
The worst catcalls I ever got were when I was jogging past a bunch of inmates who were on work detail on the side of the road. Garbage clean up to be exact. Just to clarify, I was sure to cross to the other side of the road before passing them. LOL
There were several COs present as well.
Calico you reminded me of something. When I was in school for Cosmetology we would visit the county jail once a month to give the inmates haircuts. That was the worst. They would yell, hold up signs and make obscene gestures.... it was disgusting to say the least.
To say sexual harassment and the fear it can provoke equates to "nothing happened" is quite despicable.
You've really shown your true colors Mark Mc.
We also used to have the nursing home come to us monthly. Our instructors thought it would give us the practice we needed. They would tell us not to be overly concerned if we made a mistake in those two places.The guys in jail weren't going anywhere and most of the people in the nursing home didn't even know where they were lol!
"To say sexual harassment and the fear it can provoke equates to "nothing happened" is quite despicable."
If you are "afraid" of words, then I hope you never leave your house.
The world must be a very scary place for you.
Wrong Mark. I am not afraid of words.
Don't try to twist the meaning of what you wrote..
You made it clear you think there is nothing wrong when a woman is bullied when she walks down a street. You think there is nothing wrong with sexual harassment.
"Don't try to twist the meaning of what you wrote.."
Wow, pot calling the kettle black here.
I said nothing that she should rationally "FEAR" (i.e. harm) happened.
Was she physically attacked, raped, assaulted? Seems like she safely walked though Harlem for 10 hours.
Of course, she doesn't have to *like* the words, but to fear them is irrational.
"You think there is nothing wrong with sexual harassment."
Considering that sexual harrassment, as defined by law, is typically a *workplace* issue - either creating a recurring hostile environment or propositioning some reward for sexual favors, saying "How are you this morning" to a woman walking by doesn't quite meet the standards.
In public, the crime to be aware of is "sexual assault" which, according to NJ law, requires contact, which again, did not occur here.
Rude, perhaps. Illegal, no.
"How are you this morning"??
Get REAL Mark Mc.
Try cat calls, obsene comments, obsene gestures, and following women.
Try to wiggle out of this all you want but it won't work.
You are the last person to talk about the "law" given your strong statements about law enforcement and policemen.
And since you like to be so technical, included in the definition is "sexual street harassment" Don't try to paint over your comments by twisting things and resorting to how harassment is defined by "law"
You think this abuse amounts to the equivelent of "nothing happened" and that is pathetic.
How ever you define it it's unwanted, and makes most women feel uncomfortable. I have to agree with emaxxman, I think most people who have a daughter would have a problem if they saw men leering at her, and making unwanted comments as she is walking down the street minding her own business. It's disgusting in my opinion!
Denis "Try to wiggle out of this all you want but it won't work."
I'm not trying to wiggle out of anything. I stand by every word I said. If you don't understand them and try to apply your prejudice to them, that's on you.
"You are the last person to talk about the "law" given your strong statements about law enforcement and policemen."
What does one have to do with the other? I can understand the laws and still expect the police to enforce them impartially (and call them out when they don't). And the laws that I disagree with I will petition the legislature to change.
"You think this abuse amounts to the equivelent of "nothing happened" and that is pathetic."
If you can't follow the logic in two simple sentences I don't know how to help you. I said "fear" does not equate to "harm" so the catcalling did not amount to anything that warranted that "fear". Again, you may not "like" everything someone says to you, but there is no reason for it to be "frightening".
"And since you like to be so technical, included in the definition is "sexual street harassment" "
Technically, you are harrassing me, per NJ 2C:33-4:
2C:33-4. Harassment.
a. Makes, or causes to be made, a communication or communications anonymously or at extremely inconvenient hours, or in offensively coarse language, or any other manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm;
The HORROR (see picture)....
If some of these were the best (or worst) examples they could come up with in *10 HOURS* of walking through the city, I'd say NYC seems pretty darn polite nowadays. There were actually a few more "Good morning" images I could have added...
Compressing this down to less than two minutes makes it seem like it all happened while walking down one block. The "real" video is probably pretty darn boring to watch her walk down the street with nobody saying a peep to her for 99% of it.
About the worst "coarse" language uttered anywhere in the video was the word "damn".
And some of the "catcalls" sounded like vendors just trying to get her attention. I guess I get "harassed" by the game operators on the boardwalk all the time.
Probably the only one that comes close to any concern at all is the guy that followed her, but any normal person (not trying to make a controversial video) would probably say something after about 10 seconds, or stop in a shop/make a turn to break contact.
If we started hearing every other guy talking about "backing up" that a**, or wanting to slap something around, then she'd have something to complain about. But getting "Good mornings" when you walk through a residential neighborhood where people spend time on the sidewalk is a bit of a stretch.
Alot of things are "disgusting", to someone.
Hunting and eating meat are "disgusting" to hapiestgirl.
Electing a conservative is "disgusting" to mistergoogle and gadfly.
What Bill Clinton did in the oval office is "disgusting" to me (and I'm not talking about his legislation)
I'm not saying that unwanted advances are "ok", or that making someone feel uncomfortable is "ok", but I am saying that it is part of life, and it can't be legislated away no matter how much you bitch about it. Aholes will be aholes. And it doesn't matter if you're a construction worker whistling at a lady or a 99%-er taking a crap on a police car (apparently "exercising his right to free speech" or his "right to assemble A CRAP PILE in public")
I was in a long-hair pretty-boy rock band back in the day. We had LOADS of "catcalls, advances, etc" from females.... should I have been offended? Maybe it was ok because they were welcome? But how were the girls to know they were welcome to treat us that way? Was it because the way we dressed? The way we acted? Were we looking for a rise out of them? Just because we were male and they were female is irrelevant to the "formula". The behavior is either ok or it's not.
Is harassment solely in the eye of the beholder? My, what a complicated world we live in....
SueR Wow...I hope you don't have daughters with that attitude saying a woman walking down the street should be happy someone is cat calling her. Wow...
Blackcat "Young girls in Cosmetology school going into a prison sounds like a bad idea!"
Sounds like the "plot" of a porno movie, lol.
"So, when is it ok to tell woman she's gorgeous?"
When you're in a relationship with her. Otherwise, it sounds creepy and/or pathetic.
"So, when is it ok to tell woman she's gorgeous?"
When you're in a relationship with her. Otherwise, it sounds creepy and/or pathetic.
Sounds like a sad world you live in.
that's hilarious Sue! thanks for that.
I agree that catcalling is annoying, harassing and pathetic.
Really? I live in a sad world because I'm not a heavy breather and I have a modicum of tact? Sounds to me like you live in a sad world if you need to drool and fawn over every pretty face you see.
"Wow...I hope you don't have daughters with that attitude saying a woman walking down the street should be happy someone is cat calling her. Wow..."
"You, who are on the road must have a code that you can live by.
And so become yourself because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well, their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you."
Teach your daughters well, the HackettstownLife lessons to live by..........
Remember dear, you, yourself are no prize. Even if they're gross, it's good if they whistle. But if the guys are hot it's a totally different story.
Remember, if you're walking down the street looking fetching, then I think you can expect to get some propositions that would otherwise be way out of line. Not to worry Dear.
It makes a difference if the person doing the so-called catcalling is attractive unless you are that insecure with yourself that someone noticing your attractiveness sends you into a panic attack? Just chillax and take it.
You're a young women who does not know that before your time catcalling existed. Hell, don't think you are discovering something new. Get over it.
Remember, the only reason you would wear something with writing on your butt is to intentionally draw attention to it. Expect results. And no matter what happens, nothing's wrong unless you are physically attacked, raped, or assaulted.
If you hear a guy talking about "backing up" that a**, or wanting to slap something around, then you have something to complain about.
The bottom line dear is that 'm not saying that unwanted advances are "ok", or that making someone feel uncomfortable is "ok", but I am saying that it is part of life.
"Teach your parents well, their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix,the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you."
Sigh.
No, you live in a sad world if telling a woman you aren't in a relationship with that you think she's gorgeous is "creepy"
Gee, I hope no one ever tells me I'm "handsome", unless I'm in a relationship with them, because that would be "creepy".
tunnel rat JR, I agree with you on many things, but I'm with ianimal here. If you were in a rock boy band and got comments, that's quite a bit different. You put yourself the spotlight, and I'm sure you had many adoring fans. A woman just trying to walk down the street to go about her business and getting cat calls... completely different situation.
Also, this has nothing to do with wanting to pass legislation, as you said. It's about simple respect and decency, not politics. (I wish we could have one conversation on HL that doesn't revert to Left vs. Right.)
I once had a friend who was both very beautiful and painfully shy, and for her, just walking down the street in the city was difficult. Until you've been in those shoes, it's kind of hard to know what it feels like, I think.
JRT - if you walk down Main St. here when there are groups of men, you *will* get catcalls. Trust me, I'm 43 -- WAY past the "cat calling" age, right? At least that's what I would have thought! But no, it still happens. And when it happens I think to myself - "Oh please, I'm middle aged, I look like a soccer mom, I'm wearing my favorite old sweatshirt, not even sure I brushed my hair today... I think you need to find a constructive hobby, mister."
I've gotten the catcalls on Main St. as well and I'm older than Rebecka. When it happens, I just say good morning or how are you doing. That usually leaves them confused. They aren't sure what to make of a polite remark in response to what they are spewing. You have to keep people on their toes. LOL
Additionally, I don't think there is anything wrong with someone telling someone that they are good looking so long as it's not done in a weird or creepy way.
Yes Rebecka. It happens all the time. If you're walking with someone you're fine, but walk alone and it starts.
Mark Mc. continues to show his true colors by painting over the truth of what happens on the streets. To condone harassing women is archaic to say the least.
auntiel - "ex, I'm sure if you were walking down the street with any female by your side, not one, NOT ONE male would catcall. He may think it, but no way is he going to open his mouth. He doesn't want to get his ass kicked"
I agree but that doesn't really answer my question - which was directed towards those men who thought it was OK. I would not appreciate someone saying stuff like that to my daughter or wife WHILE I was with them. I can't then think it's OK if I wasn't with them.
Here's a real-life example - family was in Mystic this past summer. As we're walking down the street, a woman walked by my daughter and said, "I just wanted to tell you that your hair is beautiful" and she then walked on. That's far different than someone saying, "hey beautiful, you're looking good today" in a creepy manner.
It's not so much the words but how they are conveyed. If people can't see that in the videos, then you're blind.
i would be afraid to do that now a days..i would probably get arrested..i saw on the news...i think it was party city i'm not sure..on their website they labeled some of their costumes as fat girl costumes..somebody saw it told the news and they took it down and said they were sorry.what ever happened to free speech in this country..if you don't like it don't shop there.
"It's not so much the words but how they are conveyed. If people can't see that in the videos, then you're blind." .....emaxxman
They're 'not' blind, of course they can see it. They just have a Neanderthal mentality.
Although we live in a civilized world, some people unfortunately aren't.
"No, you live in a sad world if telling a woman you aren't in a relationship with that you think she's gorgeous is "creepy""
Actually, I thought of another scenario where it's acceptable... if you are extremely and obviously gay, then calling women you don't know "gorgeous" is probably acceptable.
But accosting a stranger in public to tell her that you think she's gorgeous with the intent of flattering her and trying to pick her up... yeah, that's creepy, but even more pathetic. Do you really think that she has no idea that she looks good and she wants some schlub drooling all over her? If that's the intent, you have a much better shot by ignoring her appearance altogether and talking to her like she's a person instead of a Barbie doll.
I don't condone harassment, happiest girl. I just don't think the vast majority of what is in that video constitutes harassment.
Neither did that woman, otherwise she would have taken video evidence of multiple crimes to the police, not youtube.
I have yet to meet a couple that when asked how did you guys meets, she says oh i walking down the street and he whistled at me and it was love at first sight.
I just don't get the goal of these cat calls, has anyone in the history of cat calls gotten lucky from doing it. Is there 1 person out there that has had a woman stop and given them their number? Simple Law of Averages says there has to have been some success right? But i think with cat calls the success rate has to be as close to zero as possible. So i just don't get the point of it.
darwin "So i just don't get the point of it."
It could be an old caveman habit that hasn't yet become extinct. LOL
this happened to me when i was in my 20's.my friends and i were in a bar . my other friend was playing in the band that night..there were these ladies in their 50's and 60's catcalling at us and trying to grab our a$$es when we would walk past them..we were laughing so hard that this was happening we decided to go over to them.we wound up hanging out with them the whole night and had a really good time.no harm no fuss..life is what you make it..
"I just don't think the vast majority of what is in that video constitutes harassment."
Mark Mc.
"It could be an old caveman habit that hasn't yet become extinct. LOL"
Calico
LOL Calico ...... seems we have a caveman right here in town. LOL
Well, this turned out to be more interesting than I expected. Must have been the moderator's title edit :>( Thank you masked marauder.
Amazed that women get this crap in H-town; would like to think most of the real men in town would step up if they saw it. And least I would like to think they would.
I guess the only good news is that the age barrier is coming down, the pigs snort at all ages equally now. Progress?
As to the rest, wow, didn't really expect anyone to slough it off much less condone it, much less some women, even much less to think someone was thinking legislation. Still waiting to see Obama blamed for it though :>)
"So, when is it ok to tell woman she's gorgeous?"
"When you're in a relationship with her..."
or when you are tipping her
"LOL Calico ...... seems we have a caveman right here in town. LOL"
Newsflash! Women wearing skinny jeans get men's attention...
I means it's almost... ALMOST... like they even advertise them that way..
But what do I know... I'm just a caveman.
when is it ok to tell a woman she's gorgeous---
when she's on her hands and knee's scrubbing your kitchen floor..
now that's a real caveman .....and don't start giving me crap i was only kidding.
"You put yourself the spotlight,"
Rebecka,
And going out in a mini-skirt, high heels, revealing shirt, full makeup, etc... isn't "putting yourself in the spotlight"? (not the woman in the video, I'm just talking people getting comments about their appearance in general)
As a woman, I take it as a compliment. As long as the person is not following you or in your personal space, I see nothing wrong with it unless their comments are lewd. I am no supermodel but can clean up nicely; however, the calls don't come as frequently as they did in my youthful days so when someone does acknowledge me in that way, it makes my day and I say to myself "I still got it!"
Jazzykatt To the Men on here defending this as being OK, do any of you have daughters in their teens or older?? If you don't, let me tell you having one will most likely change your perspective very quickly. If you do, and you saw this happen to her would you have no reaction?? The reason it doesn't happen when a man is with a women is because it's a power play. They don't feel safe saying something when a man is present because it could result is some serious bodily harm. When a woman is by herself they feel safe, and that's makes them lowlifes, and whay makes comparing cat calls directed at men ( rare in the real world ) to those directed at women is ludicrous.
JR - yes, some women like the attention and purposely dress for it. More power to them if that's their thing. I agree that is also putting yourself in a kind of spotlight. (I don't see many mini skirts and high heels on Main Street, though.)
"The reason it doesn't happen when a man is with a women is because it's a power play. They don't feel safe saying something when a man is present because it could result is some serious bodily harm. When a woman is by herself they feel safe, and that's makes them lowlifes"
If what you are saying is true, then as long as the man doing the catcalls was pretty sure he could beat up the guy with the woman, then he would do it anyway. I don't think that's the case, psychologically. I think that when a woman is with a man, she doesn't have an aura of "availability" (as chauvinistic as that sounds), which makes the catcall pointless. (Beyond the utter ridiculousness of the whole concept, as Darwin so eloquently pointed out already.)
I have to totally disagree ianimal. I don't think a man is going to measure up another guy to figure out if he can take him, he just knows it can result in a psychical altercation, so he avoids, but feels totally safe when a woman is by herself. As far as availability I don't think any of these guys are so deluded that they think there remarks are going to result in them hooking up with the woman. Just low lifes being low lifes.
LOL, I'm pretty sure that they are that deluded and then some. Otherwise, they wouldn't have laid on the "charm" and would have called her something derogatory.
10 Hours of walking NYC as a man:
http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/ebf5e34fc8/10-hours-of-walking-in-nyc-as-a-man
Rich Looks like that guy was getting some white privilege LOL, put that in your pipe and smoke it bill o'reilly!
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